


Grief

by miilllkkkk



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Assault, Beating, Blow Jobs, Character Death, Doggy Style, Face Punching, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, PTSD, Punching, Scratching, Survivor Guilt, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, death mention, problematic relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:15:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29595405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miilllkkkk/pseuds/miilllkkkk
Summary: Reiner returns to Marley a broken, defeated man. The only thing to make up for his immense failures on the island of the devils, is the capture and detainment of the woman who stole the Jaw titan.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Porco Galliard
Comments: 15
Kudos: 100





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place shortly after Reiner and Zeke return to Marley after their spectacular failure on Paradis - pre-time skip/season 4. Definite spoilers for the series up until that point, if you're not caught up! 
> 
> Some things, like military titles and such (for Zeke especially) are fudged a little bit. I believe in the manga they called him War Commander, or Chief Zeke, or something like that. I just went with something generalized and what felt best. I also feel like I may be one of the few people that still spells Bertholdt's name that way, rather than Bertolt. Forgive me LOL
> 
> Enjoy!

_Reiner_

It wasn’t the sort of homecoming they had dreamt of - one of grandeur and great pride for the Warriors of Marley and their accomplishments. There were no celebratory banners, no folks cheering for the return of their sons and daughter; one could hear a pin drop for miles around. The silence itself was deafening, and the stunned faces of family, neighbors, and even Marleyan military police had a sobering effect on the spent warriors.

Reiner could hardly look up as he descended from the Marleyan ship, his gaze burning holes into the ramp leading down into the depths of Liberio’s port. It was a shameful return to his homeland - perhaps it would have been better to have died on that island. With Bertholdt. Yet, a part of him knew that no matter how he came to die, his soul would not have peace. He did not deserve it, no matter what he may do to repent for his sins with what short time he had left. This made him all the more miserable. 

A knowing gaze startles Reiner from his trance, his footsteps faltering on the gangway, “You’re a Warrior, Reiner. It does not matter if you failed your mission, you must be proud of your accomplishments and what your experience will mean to Marley. At least pretend to look relieved to be home after 6 long years, won’t you?” Zeke’s voice is low enough only for Reiner to hear. What the War Commander said was true, and it would truly benefit Reiner to appear to be the same proud Warrior that left all those years ago, rather than the shadow of a man he was today.

“Yes, sir.” Reiner’s gaze returned to his feet, his boots scuffing against the ramp as he and Zeke made their way down the last few feet of it. A false, timid smile painted itself across Reiner’s face as he mimicked Zeke’s own excitement at being received by the community of Liberio. The older man had a knack for maintaining the image expected of him, that was for sure.

Their steps echoed as they walked through the main plaza of the port, and it was not long before the whispers weaved their way through the solemn citizens. The sound of blood pounded in Reiner’s ears, accompanied by a high-pitched ringing. It was as if his heart was doing its damndest to beat out of his chest. 

_“Only the Armored returned..?”_

_“The Beast said he’d return all four Warriors….”_

_“Where is the Colossal? ..And The Female?”_

_“Did they lose Jaw?”_

_“My daughter.. where is she? Why has Annie not returned…?”_

_“Bertholdt.. where is my son?”_

_“Where is Marcel?”_

Each name tore jagged wounds through Reiner’s heart. How could he look Mr. Leonhart in the eye, and say they lost Annie _years_ ago? Would he ever be able to look at Mr. Hoover and explain that his son died a horrible death, one fit for a mass murderer, rather than as a proud, noble Warrior? As for Marcel….

Reiner clutched his chest as he and the Beast Titan made their way through the pressing crowd, trying anything to calm his beating heart. Once inside the internment zone gates, their neighbors had no qualms about pressing into the two Warriors, begging and pleading for answers. Wild eyes raked over Reiner’s skin, and it was as if he could feel every ounce of their hate, disgust, and wicked curiosity through every gaze. 

“Move along, everyone! We are late for our debriefing. Liberio will know everything as soon as we finish!” Diplomatic as ever, Zeke led Reiner through the heated crowd toward the Warrior’s headquarters. Familiar faces, voices, and buildings streaked by the edges of Reiner’s periphery. He could focus on nothing more than Zeke’s form before him. It was too much. He was being suffocated by their questions, and their eager, pained eyes.

HQ’s silence was a blessing and a welcome reprieve from the large crowd outside. “Commander… I can’t…” Reiner pressed his back into the main door of HQ, the wood bit into his skin and grounded him into the moment. “I can’t do this.” 

Zeke’s stare, if anything, was sympathetic. But Reiner did not feel that he deserved anyone’s sympathy, “I want you to strip me of my Armor. Tell the council I failed, and I no longer deserve the honor.” These words had been flitting through Reiner’s mind since they boarded the ship back to Marley. After that final battle, after losing Bertholdt and the coordinate, _again_ , Reiner had shattered. A broken man could only take so much, and he had taken much more than that.

“Reiner.” His name in the Commander’s mouth was sharp as any knife, “Pull yourself together. You have much to do, and it cannot be done if you unravel like this. We lost the Colossal and the Female, but you, our toughest warrior endured. Do not let your friends’ deaths be in vain.” The words had a sobering effect on the Armored Titan, and he did his best to hold the pieces of himself together just a bit longer.

Zeke led Reiner through the main parlor of HQ and through to the council chambers. Commander Magath sat waiting at a large, glossy table with other important Marleyan military brass. A handful of fresh Warrior recruits sat around the edges of the room, away from the main table, and eager to see the returned Armored and Beast Titans. At Magath’s left sat a familiar face that brought dread to Reiner’s entire being: Galliard.

Worst of all, chained to the floor at the foot of the table, was Ymir. The one who stole the Jaw Titan. The one who killed Marcel.

  
———  
  


The debriefing was nothing short of a living hell. Reiner told his story of the past 6 years, recounting every minute detail from the moment the Marleyan soldiers left his group on the beach of Paradis. He did not waver as he described Marcel’s death, he owed his fallen friend that much. He mentioned Annie’s insistence on abandoning their mission, without stating any names, to at least honor her in some small way as well. He refused to speak of his friends as traitors or failures - they fought valiantly and deserved the peace of mind that Marley would not toss their memory away.

In a false show of determination, he spoke humbly of himself, describing how he became the sole leader of their group. This was a double-edged sword that he knew he’d fall on eventually. As the proclaimed leader of a mission that failed so spectacularly, he would be condemned. Yet, as the leader of such a mission, he was also a sort of hero, one that survived hell, one that returned to tell the tale. This was all his cross to bear, after all.

Everything in his story after the fall of Wall Maria fell from his lips as if another man was telling it. Only when he described the brutal death of Bertholdt Hoover did Reiner’s facade crack. He was able to hold it together, despite the burning gazes of his comrades and superiors boring into him. Even Ymir’s hateful eyes burned into the side of his skull from her place on the floor. He’d never escape the shame of losing Marley’s most important weapon.

Always the ever-patient leader, Zeke’s sympathetic gaze allowed Reiner to finally relax. The Beast Titan went on to tell his own story about the island of Paradis. None of Zeke’s words had an impact on Reiner, he was there and felt no need to relive the same story through another’s words. Numbness overtook him, but he managed to maintain the stoic face of a Warrior. Yet, the cracks were there - he knew Ymir could see them, as she had become accustomed to watching as the Armored Titan’s mind collapsed. The knowing smirk at the corner of her mouth filled him with rage and shame.

No longer able to gaze in the general direction of Ymir anymore, Reiner finally raised his eyes to meet Galliard. The Warrior candidate had sat quietly during his retelling, and even seemed to be enraptured by Zeke’s own discussion about his personal experience on the island of the devils. As soon as Zeke was finished and eager to answer any questions the council had for him, Galliard’s eyes found Reiner’s. The burning hate behind those golden eyes made Reiner physically flinch, causing a burst of laughter from Ymir.

Everybody in that room tensed - the silence was stifling. Commander Magath’s eyes darted between the laughing devil and those who brought her there.

“Why is there an island devil present at this meeting, Yeager?” Magath’s voice cut through the room, disdain coating each word. Ymir could only sneer, but seemed to think better of acting out any more than she already had. This surprised Reiner nearly as much as her betrayal of Historia back then.

“Sir, this island devil, is the very one from Braun’s story of Marcel’s death. _She_ is the titan that ate our Warrior and stole the Jaw Titan.”

The weight of those words hit Galliard like a bolt of lightning, and he was instantly on his feet rushing toward Ymir, “You disgusting, devil piece of shit..” One could taste Galliard’s hatred on the air as each word escaped between clenched teeth. No-one stopped him from striking Ymir across the face. Again, and again, and again.

The Reiner who had been born on the island of Paradis in the past 6 years would have risen to save his fellow soldier. That Reiner would have restrained Galliard and used his charm to placate the other Warrior. But the Reiner was in that room, watching as Ymir’s face became a bloody, pulpy mess, could do nothing - would do nothing.

“Galliard.” Magath barked, and the beating ceased. “Yeager, what you said does not explain why it is here, in this room, rather than in a cell.”

The Beast Titan cleared his throat, eyes following Galliard as he resumed his seat across from Reiner, “Forgive me, sir. I believe she is of too much importance to dump elsewhere at the moment. It would only be fitting for Marley to retake the Jaw Titan from this island devil, so that we may maintain our strength. I believe we should take it back as soon as possible.”

Galliard’s eyes burned into Reiner’s - he did not flinch this time, and he wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. He could read everything Porco wanted to say in his eyes. Shame crept up Reiner’s neck as the other man stared daggers into his soul. Blood, Ymir’s blood, steamed from Galliard’s knuckles, giving him an even more threatening presence.

“If I may, I believe Galliard should take back the Jaw Titan, sir. He was the top of his class at the time of the initial inheritance ceremonies for this group of warrior candidates. If our titan studies are correct, blood relatives that inherit the same titan retain clearer memories, and may sometimes have interesting powers as a result of the continued bloodline.” Zeke always grew excited when he spoke of the biological studies of titans, and his love for the subject was something to be admired... if one cared for that sort of thing.

Magath took no time considering the Beast’s proposal, “Indeed. Hold the ceremony immediately, Yeager. Galliard, report any findings you may have upon receiving the Jaw Titan.” 

Galliard’s eyes only strayed from Reiner’s to acknowledge Commander Magath, “Yes, sir.” Reiner turned to gaze at Ymir, who lay bloody and steaming on the floor. Her nose was broken, and her lip had split in many places, but she was healing. 

It was true that she only had a short amount of time left in this life, but holding the inheritance ceremony _so soon_ shocked Reiner. He felt sympathy for Ymir, despite everything she had done to him. If it wasn’t for her, Marcel would still be alive. If it wasn’t for her, their mission may have had a better chance of succeeding. If it wasn’t for her…

“And Braun.” Magath’s voice made the hair on the back of Reiner’s neck stand, “Starting tomorrow you will resume Marleyan history lessons and Warrior training. I hope that 6 years on that damnable island did not cause you to forget your race’s sins.”

Reiner gave a curt nod, his eyes leaving Ymir’s strained face to meet the commander’s, “No, sir. I maintained loyalty to Marley every second on that island. Those devils deserved everything we did to them.”

Galliard’s sneer of disgust was the only thing Reiner could focus on.

  
———  
  


The inheritance ceremony was held that night. Reiner attended as required by all present Warriors, but also to pay final respects to Ymir. Despite his anger toward her, he still clung to the memories of their trainee days. It was easy to fall into those sweet, warm memories when everything else was hell. He had to squash those feelings if he was to remain a Warrior, but allowing them to bubble to the surface for one more night was the least he could do for Ymir, and for himself.

“That letter.. made it to Historia, right..?” Ymir’s voice was weak. Galliard had taken no time preparing for the ceremony, and continued to beat and torture her through the rest of the afternoon. She was a shadow of herself now, but that light that came to her eyes whenever she thought of Historia remained. Her arms hung from chains at odd angles, her legs and ankles twisted beneath her. Despite her wounds, a fractured skull, and broken ribs, she did not heal. Steam was nowhere to be seen.

“..I can only assume it did. Hange took it from me before Bertholdt….” His voice strained. Thinking of Bertholdt, his companion, the only person he ever truly loved, caused him immense pain that would easily crush him if he allowed it to.

“Before the fucker died? Before Armin _ate_ his big ass?” Ymir’s words hit home. Reiner could only stare at her feet. “Figures… Ah well.” Ymir grew limp against the chains holding her in place, but her typical scowl remained.

“Ymir, I..” 

“Shut up, Reiner. I don’t want to hear it. In fact, fuck you. Get out of my sight. I don’t want the last thing I see to be your ugly face.”

The sudden change in her tone and mood surprised Reiner. Steam burst from her wounds as she snapped her final words to the Armored titan, “I’d like to say I’ll see you in hell, but there’s absolutely no fucking way you’ll end up somewhere as comfortable as hell. Rot wherever assholes like you go when you die, Reiner.”

Reiner never got to get his last words out to Ymir. She would not hear it. He didn’t get to say goodbye either, and it was just as well. Peace and closure were for people that did not bear the sins he did. He could only watch as Ymir died on her knees, chewed to death by Galliard in his pure titan form.  
  


———

Reiner’s first night back home was restless, despite being emotionally and physically exhausted. The debriefing meeting felt years ago, while Ymir’s final moments on this Earth still felt as if they were Reiner’s present living moments. He felt sadness for her, for the friend he lost - yet a storm of emotions raged within him as the warrior inside beat the soldier within him back. Moments like these had been constant since he joined the trainee corps - each version within himself fought for dominance, and for what was right. Yet, depending on which Reiner was currently present, what was right or wrong in his world fluctuated.

His bed within the warrior barracks was luxurious compared to what he’d endured on Paradis, but he could still not find comfort in the clean bedding and soft pillows. Memories of his final battle on the island of the devils haunted him in what felt like every moment. Mixing war trauma with what he’d endured that single day back on Marley was enough to make him sick with dread and shame. There was no escaping it.

The door to the men’s barracks creaked open, and he lay still, pretending to sleep. Whoever it was, was probably coming to bed himself, and would not notice Reiner shaking beneath his blankets. As far as he could tell, no one else had come to bed yet, despite it being so late. Perhaps he’d been isolated from the other warrior trainees due to his failures. Perhaps he was too tainted by the island to be worthy of being in the presence of anyone on this continent ever again. 

Rough hands suddenly had him by the throat, a firm grip pressed his Adam’s apple into his trachea, and wheeze of shock was the only thing to escape his lips. Sparks of light popped before his eyes as the assailant’s nails dug into the flesh of his neck, and his eyes began to roll back as a knee pressed deep into the hollow of his chest. The sweet tantalizing taste of this darkness anchored him to the mattress.

Reiner was suddenly thrown to the floor next to his bed, in a flurry of sheets and blankets. A boot found his ribs and sent him back, howling in pain as the sudden burst of oxygen brought him back to his senses. Before another kick could land home, Reiner managed to grab onto the leg of the man assaulting him and yanked him down with the force of a well-seasoned soldier. 

Galliard’s face fell into the stream of moonlight across the floor before Reiner, as he sat pinning the other man down. A mixture of hatred, rage, and surprise flitted across the Jaw Titan’s features. He did not hesitate, and struck Reiner across the face with his elbow. The sound of crushed bone and cartilage filled the room as Reiner’s nose broke from the force of it all. He fell back as blood seemed to endlessly pour from his nostrils, “Galliard! Stop!” Reiner’s face began to steam as it healed, his voice raw from the earlier assault on his throat.

On his feet again, Galliard overtook Reiner and beat the larger man down onto the floor, absolutely railing the Armored titan with everything he had. Blood poured from Reiner’s nose and mouth, and he could only growl in pain as his fellow Warrior straddled his thighs and continued the assault. 

“You motherfucking piece of shit!” Galliard’s voice was hoarse from exertion, and he finally let up on beating Reiner with his fists. He grasped the larger man’s throat again and squeezed with the strength of a titan, “Marcel died _for you?!_ For a pathetic weakling?!”

Tears streamed from Reiner’s eyes, mixing with blood as it dripped to the floor from his cheeks and jaw. He’d had these same thoughts about Marcel himself, for many years. How could someone so decent and _good_ die in a way that let weaklings like him survive? “P-Porco..” Reiner’s voice began to fade, choking under Galliard’s immense grip.

Galliard slammed Reiner’s head back onto the concrete floor, tears threatening at the corners of his eyes, “He died protecting you! You!! You’re nothing! You’re less than nothing!” Reiner did his best to grip on to Porco’s arms, his lungs screaming for a taste of air. Clawing at the other man’s forearms, Reiner began to thrash, as his head was slammed again into the concrete. Lightning streaked across his vision, blinding him momentarily. He did not want to die. He’d spent all this time feeling as if he could no longer go on living, but… he did not want to die. Especially not like this. Not yet. 

Blood streaked across Galliard’s arms, as Reiner clawed at him, seeking purchase. His own breath hitching as violent sobs overtook him. His grip released from around Reiner’s throat, and he screamed. He screamed into the Armored titan's chest, a painful howl for the brother he lost all those years ago. For the friends that never returned. 

His fists blindly hit Reiner’s chest and at the concrete floor, blood blooming from torn-up knuckles with every strike. Porco’s anguished screams shook Reiner to his very core - they were his own feelings finally manifested, yet all he could do was lay there and let the other warrior consume him.

Reiner stared up to the ceiling as Galliard’s screams turned to choked sobs. Tears blurred his vision as they pooled in his eyes, and finally, they fell as fat droplets down his cheeks and into his hairline. He could only listen, his body lying limp and steaming as the other man eventually grew silent. Only then did Reiner understand, this was not a moment to pity himself and wallow in shame. He could only grip the other man’s arms, squeezing them in what Reiner hoped was a moment of solidarity and understanding.

Porco remained hunched over Reiner. He sat firmly on the other man’s thighs, his knees shaking despite being pressed into the hard floor. His eyes saw nothing as he stared straight down into Reiner’s bloody, tear-streaked face. His own wounds started to steam and heal as well, warming the room to a sickly degree.

After what felt like an eternity, Reiner finally spoke, “Porco…”

Galliard struck Reiner in the jaw, growling through clenched teeth. His fist came to rest on the floor by Reiner’s turned head, his breathing labored, “Shut the fuck up, Braun. There is nothing you could say to make me forgive you for taking him from me.”

Reiner’s eyes snap to the other man’s face, tears welling up again, “Don’t you think I know that?! The least I could do for anyone is just die, right?!” Porco’s sneer of disgust pushes Reiner further, “But I can’t die just yet! I have to save Annie, avenge Bertholdt, and.. and do anything I can to atone for these sins.”

“There’s no coming back from what you did, Reiner.” It was the first time Porco had said his name in many, many years.

“I… know that. I know that in my soul.” Reiner’s gaze finally leaves Porco’s face, and he shuts his eyes. His body shakes underneath the Jaw Titan’s, and he grips onto the other man as if for dear life. Reiner’s hands left Porco’s arms to clutch at the sides of his jacket instead. “I have to do what I can. That’s why I brought Ymir to Marley. So we could have _something_ of Marcel’s back..” His hands found his way under the jacket, almost clawing at the other man, eager for the touch of someone, _anyone_ else.

Porco’s disgust with the Armored titan engulfed him as he gripped Reiner by the jaw, “Get his name out of your mouth. Never say it again.”

Those were Galliard’s final words to Reiner that night. Without another word, and without laying another finger on the Armored titan, Galliard heaved himself to his feet and left the men’s barracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as I'm aware (after reading the manga/watching the show), it is not 100% confirmed when Ymir was eaten by Porco, and I find it fun to assume that the Armored and Beast titan dragged her all the way to Marley, rather than having Porco, I guess, awaiting them on the ship back, or meeting them on Paradis before returning home. 
> 
> The letter mentioned here is the same one Reiner had in a metal case in his breast pocket. Ymir wrote that before their final stand against Eren and the Survey Corps. The timeline gets a little funky with all of that considered - hence my theory that they simply dragged Ymir back and forth on the island before finally hauling her ass across the ocean to Marley. The girl never got peace!!
> 
> You might be wondering, if Zeke and Reiner made it back, where's Pieck? She came home with them, I just got caught up writing about Reiner's sad boy hours, and never focused on her. Perhaps she continued a reconnaissance mission on Paradis before returning to Marley a month or two later? Who knows!


	2. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After inheriting the Jaw Titan, Porco relives many of his brother's memories and feelings - right up until his very last night.

_Porco_

The memories came light as morning mist at first - gentle impressions of events that had transpired in the past. Smells wafted through the inner sanctum of these memories, met with glimpses through windows displaying events that had never happened to him. Emotions that were not his own bubbled to the surface, washing over him in a way not unlike baptism. Viewing these memories in such a way felt perverse and invasive - they were too personal and intimate to be shared with anyone else. 

When Porco finally regained consciousness after his inheritance ceremony, it was hard to believe that only mere minutes passed. It had felt like an eternity within the body of his pure titan form. A shudder ran through his limp body as he recalled the total lack of control over the rational part of himself in that time. No solid memories of his own remained from the past half hour, yet too many memories from his deceased brother overwhelmed his mind. 

There were even memories from _her_ , of people he did not recognize. Even the fuzzy impression of Braun pooled at the surface of these foggy memories from both Marcel and the devil that killed him. It was jarring, to say the least, to have one’s own mind assaulted by the total emptiness of being a true titan. But this is not what kept Porco laying limp on the stone floor of the Warrior’s headquarters, it was the impression of Marcel’s final moments that weighed him down.

“Well done, Po!” The War Commander’s voice was as cheerful as ever. Porco truly detested Zeke’s endless good moods, and could only groan in response to his superior. Zeke kneeled to assist Porco as he sat up, beaming at the new Jaw Titan, “You woke up much faster than anyone else after eating one of The Nine! I’m so impressed with you.”

Of course, he had done well - Porco was at the top of his group academically, and excelled at overall endurance compared to his fellow warrior candidates. The outcome of this inheritance ceremony did not surprise him one bit, but he did not feel the need to voice this to the Beast Titan.

Now that he was sitting up, the world was spinning. Porco hung his head down and shut his eyes tightly to try and will the spinning to stop. Images flashed against the backs of his eyelids, of places he did not recognize, and had never imagined could exist, “How long until my head stops trying to crack open?”

Zeke’s voice made the throbbing in his head worsen, “Well, I don’t know! I think it might depend on the person, Po. You can rest after you tell me what you inherited through the Jaw Titan, though~”

Porco again, only groaned in response. 

  
———  
  


He was meant to leave nothing out when recalling the memories that were not his, but some were too special to be part of the military’s paper trail. Hours had passed since he’d woken up as the Jaw Titan, and the memories began to hold fast in his mind. Remembering Marcel’s memories was as easy as recalling his own, and it was something special he hoped to cling on to for as long as he could. 

It was as if he was standing with his brother, seeing the island of Paradis for the first time. The open wilderness of the island naturally excited Porco, but some of Marcel’s residual emotions clung to the precious, preserved moments - so, he also felt fear at this memory. Marcel’s fear. 

From the start, Porco noticed that it was difficult to pick apart which emotion was his own, and which was his brother’s. In some instances, a memory would suddenly overtake Porco, stopping him in his tracks. For instance, the first time they, no... Marcel, saw the dense, immense forests of Paradis, both dread and excitement poured through him. Marcel felt excitement, while Porco felt dread. 

After extracting intricate details from the translucent images that flooded his mind’s eye for the Warrior council’s reports, Porco was exhausted. It was difficult work separating the important details from the mundane, and he was sure there was plenty more that had not come to light just yet. 

The Warrior council called it for the evening, so for the first time in many years, Porco was able to spend time with his brother. The short journey from the council chamber to the second level of the men’s barracks was a blur to him as a great sadness consumed him from within.

From the moment his back hit his mattress, nothing else mattered except for what was happening in his mind. Memories, delicate like whispers of a dream overtook him.

  
———  
  


Marcel’s memories of his short time as the Jaw Titan were vivid, more vivid than most of Porco’s own memories of the days before. Within this state, Porco felt every emotion his brother did as he relived the journey to the island of the devils. The young faces of their companions filled his heart with nostalgic warmth - it had been so long since he’d seen Annie and Bertholdt that way. The sight of Reiner, through Marcel’s eyes, repulsed Porco. His issues with the present Armored Titan began all those years ago when they were still young trainees, and his disdain for the other man grew threefold when he was the only one to return.

Yet, Marcel’s residual feelings on the Armored Titan were not that of disdain or even pity. There was.. a yearning that accompanied these memories. Porco was not unfamiliar with feeling his brother’s _need_ for something, but this ache was alien to him. Had Marcel had… feelings for Reiner Braun, stronger feelings than anyone had realized? The mixture of his brother’s emotions with his own made Porco’s stomach churn. That _yearning_ and _ache_ were not his own, but he felt it, physically, all the same.

Porco pushed these memories aside. This was not something he believed Marcel would want him to know, especially not like this.

Other memories, dark like a shadow came rushing to the forefront of Porco’s mind. Marcel’s last moments. He had heard Braun’s retelling of this instance, and Porco himself had waded through the soggy, washed-out memory of it all earlier that day. But right now, it was different. The memory had a weight to it, and it gripped his heart tightly as he helplessly watched in this dream-like state.

~~

_“I’m sorry, Reiner, for doing this to you..” Marcel’s voice was terribly sad._

_The group had been at odds with one another for days. Reiner, weak as ever, did not want to continue with the mission. Annie and Bertholdt had begun to feel similarly as their supplies grew low, and the fabled Wall Maria was nowhere in sight. They had devolved into bickering and fighting with each other, each jab at one another was sharper than the last - meant to scar._

_“What?” Reiner’s voice made Marcel weak. He was scum for doing this to someone like Reiner. But it was for his little brother. He damned another innocent soul to protect Porco._

_“You’re not meant to be here with us. You’re weak, and were at the bottom of our group,” his voice cracked, full of emotion._

_Shadows of Annie and Bertholdt watched from the sides, unable to maintain eye contact with either Marcel or Reiner._

_“I talked you up to the commanders and put Po down so that you’d inherit the Armored Titan. I put you in his place to protect him. And… and I was right in doing so, this mission is a failure. We failed. We’re going to die here.”_

_Seeing Reiner’s face fall like that broke Marcel’s heart. What he said was true, but it still hurt him deeply to wound Reiner that way._

_But, before Marcel could say any more, it appeared from the darkness._

_A 5-meter titan erupted from the shadows and bound toward the group of Warriors. There was no time to think, and Marcel did only what his instincts demanded. He tossed Reiner to the side, shoving him to safety as the feral titan scooped him into the air._

_The last thing Marcel saw before this titan consumed him, was his friends abandoning him. His last thoughts were for his brother. His only regrets were that he had never told Reiner how he truly felt._

~~

Rage overcame Porco then, a blinding fit that sent his body reeling.  
  


———  
  


He blacked out for what felt like hours. He left his bed, he knew that much, but where did he go? 

His body was aching and steaming. His knuckles, cracked and smeared with blood seemed to be the only injuries he’d sustained. Tears dripped from his chin to the floor - why was he crying? Where was he now?

In the dim lighting of the community washroom, Porco could see that he was huddled beside a washbasin. He tilt his head back against the cool stone wall, stifling a choked sob with his fist. What had come over him? 

Memories, his own memories, slowly pooled through the recesses of Porco’s mind. He’d fallen asleep, he was sure, and dreamt of Marcel’s final moments. He could remember feeling Marcel’s shame, and the shock of his brother’s life leaving him. It hurt as much as if it was his own body experiencing it all.

“Marcel… why?” His hoarse voice echoed in the chilly room. He thumped his head against the wall, trying to wash away the misery of witnessing his brother’s death. 

He thumped it again, and again.

The fifth time the back of his head hit the wall, the last hour came flooding back:

He’d attacked Braun in his bed.

He’d beaten the Armored Titan bloody with his own fists. 

He’d broken Reiner’s nose and screamed at him. 

He’d screamed for Marcel, for his brother’s regrets.

Why did Marcel have to die for Reiner? 

He’d felt Reiner’s large hands grasping at his sides. 

How could Marcel have loved someone so weak?

How could _he_ be so weak?

After what felt like an eternity, simply sitting there and listening to the _drip, drip, drip_ of a faucet, and letting his brother’s final moments replay in his mind endlessly, Porco pushed himself up from the floor and returned to his bunk. 

  
———  
  


The following months since the return of the Armored and Beast Titan, and since becoming the Jaw Titan, were busy yet mundane. Porco’s own training seemed to triple as his responsibility as one of The Nine started to take effect. Pieck had even returned from Paradis with remnants of the final war Braun had lost against the demons there.

Many debriefing meetings consumed much of the Warriors' time for those first few weeks. Porco felt that he was going to vomit if he had to hear Braun retell the same story or theory _again_ for the zillionth time. He also felt that he was going to vomit if he had to relive any more of the devil Ymir’s memories, too. The council deemed whatever information Porco could pull from Marcel’s memory as sufficient, and their focus now was on what Ymir may have known about the society on Paradis. A lot of the information gleaned from what remained of her mind corroborated many of Braun’s statements, and before long it felt as if the Warrior council could finally understand the demons of Paradis to a slightly better degree. 

Physical training ate up the rest of the time the Warriors had available to them each day. Porco worked mostly with Commander Yeager in honing his titan’s abilities, but he was soon ready to face off against his other comrades. Taking down Pieck was no issue, but the trouble with her titan was its longevity and her ability to transform 10 times or more in a few hours. 

His other opponents, the Armored and Beast Titans would be more formidable, and mock battles against them would easily prepare Porco for the wars to come. 

Commander Zeke’s unique battle style kept the Jaw Titan at a distance, a huge disadvantage for being such a small titan. These battle drills, and the opportunity to learn one’s titan in different weather, and against different enemies, were essential to the Warrior unit.

In stark contrast, the Armored Titan was _supposed_ to be a difficult target to pin down - Braun had trained years to be a difficult creature to slow down, let alone destroy. Literal chinks in his armor made easy work of this hulking titan. Porco grew bored from it quickly.

The Jaw Titan was a relentless beast itself, quick on its feet as it managed to bring the monstrous Armored Titan down yet again. Frustration boiled within Porco, a part of him, perhaps a part that was more Marcel, knew that Braun was holding back.

The remnants of Marcel’s feelings for Reiner crept through Porco. The ensuing storm within made him grouchier and nastier than ever. It was difficult to focus on hating Braun for murdering his brother and friends when a small part of his soul wanted nothing more than to pin the larger Warrior down and…

And what?

He had to squash those invasive feelings down. He could not, would not entertain them. The thoughts, and that _yearning_ were not his, but they plagued him all the same. It was a disgusting distraction that gnawed at his very being.

Is that really how Marcel felt about Reiner Braun?

“Braun! Hey!!” Porco’s voice rung across the valley, carried on the wind from the perch at the nape of his titan’s neck. The Armored Titan lay below him, a steaming mess from his titan’s own jaws tearing through the spaces between the armor. “Hey, asshole, I’m talking to you!”

A large burst of steam erupted from the nape of the Armored Titan’s neck, and a bloodied Braun emerged from the steaming muscle, “Yes, Galliard?”

Braun squinted into the sky as he gazed up at Porco - this made the Jaw Titan’s skin crawl, “Stop pulling your punches! I know you’re not _that_ weak!” A blush crept over Porco’s ears and cheeks - admitting that any part of Braun could be stronger than he’d care to notice caused him great distress.

The Armored Titan seemed to consider this for a moment, but Porco did not let him reply just yet, “I don’t give a shit if you feel _guilty_ or whatever, just fucking man up and take this seriously! Time to move on, Braun!” What was he saying? Time to _move on_ from getting his brother killed? Time to move on from _losing_ the Female and Colossal titan? 

Braun’s face turned to stone as Porco yelled at him. It seemed to sink in, “You’re right. I’ll give it my all!” The sheepish grin Braun spared for Porco before disappearing back into the Armored Titan deepened the blush painting itself across the Jaw Titan’s face.

“Idiot.”


	3. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner and Porco find comfort in one another, and finally the walls between them come crumbling down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! They be fuckin!

Galliard had visited Reiner nearly every night since he had returned home to Marley. Reiner welcomed the attention from his old estranged friend, even if he only acted as the other man’s punching bag. Some nights, Galliard would only sit with him in an overwhelming silence, torturing Reiner by being so close as they sat crowded on the thin twin mattress. He yearned to be touched by another person in a way that mattered, but Galliard would not give that to him. Other nights, Galliard would berate and beat Reiner, cursing his name until dawn broke across Marley’s sky.

Reiner felt that this was one small way he could atone for his immeasurable sins. Marcel had died protecting him that night so long ago, and Reiner felt he had nothing more to give to Galliard than his own body. He was Galliard’s sole audience as he fell into a deeper downward spiral of pain and grief. It seemed to give Galliard a sick sense of satisfaction to tear the Armored Titan down mentally and physically every night. Reiner not only accepted it, but eagerly went along with whatever the Jaw Titan desired of him each night. 

At first, it felt as if the other man only wanted to take his frustrations out on Reiner. Galliard would endlessly vent his anger at the loss of his brother to him, and Reiner would listen, no matter if the other man was repeating himself for the hundredth time. Galliard’s ranting and raving, and verbal abuse toward the Armored Titan was almost like a hymn to Reiner now. He felt it to his core and held the weight of it within his heart each and every day. 

Eventually, Galliard’s rage for his lost brother began to settle into a simmer, rather than the harsh storm it’d been for so long. Reiner could sense something was tearing Galliard in half, it was evident on the other man’s face during training and mealtimes, and especially so when they spent these nights together. 

The Jaw Titan dared not cry in front of Reiner again, until weeks after that first night together. Only when anger ebbed away did Porco finally allow himself to break down in front of the other man.

On that night when Galliard’s own walls finally fell, Reiner had endured another one-sided fight with the Jaw Titan. Reiner never fought back - he understood that Galliard was using him as a release for years of anger, fear, and lost hope; he never took the abuse from Porco personally.

Galliard had appeared at Reiner’s bunk deep into the night when the halls of the barracks were silent, save for a snore here or there. Despite the hour, Galliard was heated and distraught, worked up about something that had happened earlier in the day - what, Reiner would never know.

Sleep did not come easily for Reiner then, and the habitual visits each night had him wide awake and ready for Galliard whenever he’d decide to arrive. The door to the barracks gently creaked as the Jaw Titan emerged from the dark hallway - later than usual. Reiner was a bundle of nerves, distraught that a constant in his life had the possibility of being taken away yet again. 

Even from across the room, Galliard was easy to read. The Jaw Titan had many things to be proud of, but wearing his heart on his sleeve for all to see was not one of them. Reiner was surprised to see that tonight Galliard was a mess.

He said nothing to the Armored Titan, and instead made his way directly to Reiner, who only began to rise to rest on an elbow in his bed. Each hard step across the stone floor hung in the air, sending a shudder up the small of Reiner’s back to the very top of his head. He could only gasp as Galliard gripped him by the collar of his nightshirt. He was easily pulled up into a sitting position before the Jaw Titan on the creaky bed, his own knees resting at either side of Porco’s legs as the other man loomed over him. 

It was pathetic for Reiner, a battle-hardened soldier, and seasoned warrior, to simply take and accept whatever the smaller man did to him, but he endured all the same. He had no reason to fight back. He’d heal as always. Then they’d pretend none of it had ever happened.

Porco’s golden eyes, full of seething rage bore down into the Armored Titan’s as he held the larger man in place on the bed. Hesitation met him then as he stared into the other warrior’s face, “Why don’t you ever fight back, Braun?”

If this question surprised Reiner, he didn’t show it. Galliard’s firm grip on him held fast as he cleared his throat, not daring to look away from the Jaw Titan’s burning eyes, “I don’t deserve that luxury.” This was a truth that Reiner felt through every inch of his being.

Something snapped within Galliard, and he began punching Reiner. Again, and again, and again. The now-familiar rage overtook him and blinded him. He held the Armored Titan in place, clenching his fist around the other man’s shirt as his other fist smashed into his face. Blood and steam soon burst from each man, and Reiner only winced as he endured yet another broken nose and a fractured cheekbone. 

It didn’t matter. He would heal. Tomorrow they would act as if this never happened.

“You don’t deserve the luxury? Fuck off with that!” Porco growled, each word tearing from his throat as he beat Reiner into the mattress. Soon, both hands were wrapped tightly around the Armored Titan’s throat, and Porco squeezed with every ounce of strength he had left.

“My brother died for you, and this is how you repay him? By laying down and taking it?!” Galliard’s voice began to crack, his teeth clenching, and his arms began to shake from nerves and exertion.

“Fight back! Show me you deserve to live, you piece of shit!”

Porco’s face became distorted before Reiner, his vision obscured by dense clouds of steam streaming from his own wounds. He couldn’t fight back. He wouldn’t fight back. Reiner’s vision began to darken around the edges as the Jaw Titan pressed his thumbs into his windpipe. The sensation was all too familiar at this point, and Reiner knew he had to simply endure; let Porco’s rage run its course and he’d survive another night. Another tiny piece of his unforgivable sin would be chipped away.

Only when Reiner was on the precipice of unconsciousness did he hear them - the many voices he came to know throughout his life. They were willing him to fight. It had been a mantra to nearly every person he came into contact with over the years - to fight.

To survive.

To live. 

Wasn’t that idiot back on the island always screaming about fighting?

Who was screaming at him now to fight?

A pulse of electricity jolted through Reiner, not unlike the sharp pain and burst of energy whenever he transformed into a titan. His senses returned to him just as quickly, and he found himself pinned down beneath Galliard, who was still choking him and yelling at him. Reiner couldn’t make out the other man’s words any longer for the blood pounding in his ears. He was suffocating, and his whole body thrashing for one last taste of oxygen. It was hard to say if his body’s innate response to plead for a breath of air deepened his assailant’s drive to harm him. 

Galliard was going to strangle him to death.

Working on pure adrenaline, Reiner reached for the other man’s wrists in a flash and began to pry them from his throat. Tears streamed down his face as the sound of bone snapping filled the air. He’d broken one Galliard’s wrists, bending it into an unnatural angle just to free himself from the other man’s grip. The howl of pain that erupted from Porco hurt the Armored Titan more than he’d realized, but he could not let it stop him. He had to fight. He had to live.

Galliard began another assault on the Armored Titan, but Reiner was quick to catch the other man’s fist as it went flying by his head. Reiner pulled Porco into his chest, releasing his unwounded hand as he squeezed the smaller man into a tight embrace. He gripped onto Porco as if his life depended on it.

Reiner’s voice cracked as he spoke, the words rough and gravelly, “I’m sorry, Po.”

Galliard tried to pull away from Reiner, fighting with every last bit of strength he could muster. He refused to be held this way, in a way Marcel had always wanted from Braun - in a way that he’d never get to experience, “Let go of me, Braun!! I don’t give a shit if you’re sorry!”

Despite that his broken wrist was steaming and beginning to heal, Porco beat his fists against the Armored Titan, trying to break the hold the other man had on him. Reiner only squeezed tighter, and lowered his forehead to rest it against Porco’s shoulder. The Jaw Titan tried to thrash his way out of the Armored Titan’s grip, but the larger man held fast.

“I’m sorry for taking Marcel from you,” Reiner’s voice held steady, he had no more tears to cry.

Porco’s thrashing began to calm as Reiner spoke. The Armored Titan’s deep voice rumbled against the smaller man’s chest as he whispered each word, “I’m sorry for wasting the second chance at life he gave me.”

The steam from their healing wounds clouded the air around them. Reiner’s face had endured the worst of Galliard’s rage, but it healed quickly all the same. Blood smeared from his cheek onto Galliard’s jacket as he pressed his face into the nape of the other man’s neck. Porco had grown silent, and sat pressed limply against him. Reiner squeezed him tighter, choking back a rush of emotion, “I’m here for you. I will fight for you, and Marcel.. and Bertholdt and Annie. For Pieck and the Commander... I can’t waste what time I have left.”

Reiner did not expect a response, and the silence that came after was a welcome reprieve to his earlier assault. He could feel his heartbeat returning to normal as a calmness washed over him. It was as if he’d finally woken up, and his resolve had begun to return bit by bit. Despite feeling so calm himself, he could feel that Galliard was not yet so relaxed. Tension pulsed through the smaller man, and it was as if Reiner could feel the electricity on his skin.

After a long, tense silence, Galliard’s hoarse growl surprised Reiner, “About fuckin’ time, Braun.” There was a heat behind the Jaw Titan’s words that Reiner couldn’t quite place it until he felt the other man’s hands slide from his sides to wrap around his waist. Only then did he understand. Porco pressed himself harder into Reiner’s embrace, fiercely squeezing the other man. Reiner, like Porco, had begun to tremble from the intensity of the moment.

Reiner timidly ran his hand up from the small of Porco’s back to rest the base of his skull. He gently squeezed Porco’s neck as if to ease some tension there, and this earned him a light groan from the smaller man. Galliard muffled another growl into Reiner’s chest as his own hands gripped at the fabric of his loose nightshirt. A shudder ran through each of them as the hot steam emanating from their wounds finally stopped and dissipated into the chilly room. The only remaining heat was pressed between them in that shuddery embrace.

Porco took no claim for the emotions or gnawing ache that he felt for Reiner at that moment. He was disgusted with himself for falling so deep into that churning, muddled pit within himself. It welcomed him with an intense warmth that he could easily find himself drowning in if he allowed it. 

Did it truly matter where this hunger for Reiner Braun originated? His body reacted all the same, whether or not he truly felt this way for himself, or if it had been by Marcel’s influence.

It didn’t matter. All that mattered now was that he had the Armored Titan to himself.

Reiner had begun to stroke his fingers through Porco’s hair, untangling the messy locks as the smaller man finally released his nightshirt from his strained grip - it seemed to Reiner that Porco had finally begun to relax, “Po—.”

A blaze of fire crossed Porco’s eyes just then, as the bubbling pit within him finally spilled over. He gripped Reiner roughly by the collar of his shirt again, and pulled the Armored Titan close to his face. He did not hesitate this time, “Do you ever shut up, Reiner?”

Bewilderment cascaded across Reiner’s face, and all he could do was helplessly stare up into Porco’s fiery gaze. He could feel the heat coming off the other man, and it made his own breathing all the more labored. There had been a shift between them just then, and Reiner was too distracted by acting as a source of comfort for Porco to notice it. He was a blind idiot.

Porco’s lips roughly found Reiner’s. The Jaw Titan took no time pushing himself deeper into the other man’s personal space. His rough, worn hands gripped the Armored Titan’s face as he pulled him deeper into their kiss. Reiner’s astonished gasp was the only invitation Porco needed to push even farther. Now straddling the other man’s thighs, Porco kissed Reiner deeper, pushing his tongue into the other man’s mouth as a fierce show of dominance and passion.

A hot blush came over both men as their breathing became heavy and labored. Reiner lamely gripped at Porco’s hips, fumbling his way through untucking the shirt from the waistband of his pants. Porco could only growl as he bit into Reiner’s lip, hard, “How are you so pathetic at everything you do?” His snarl sent a shuddering wave through Reiner. His blush deepened, and his mouth hung agape as the other man shoved him down forcibly into the mattress.

Still straddling Reiner’s thighs, and feeling every inch of the stiffening bulge beneath the thin pajama pants, Porco began peeling off his bulky military-issued jacket. A look of satisfaction crossed his face at the sight of Reiner staring at him in… awe or shock, it didn’t matter. He noted the movement of Reiner’s eyes as they traced his shoulders and across his chest, then down to his waist and thighs.

As if struck dumb by the sight of Porco tugging his shirt out of the waist of his pants, and catching but a flash of toned muscle beneath, Reiner began absently undoing his own nightshirt. His hands worked the buttons free on their own accord, as he hungrily swept his eyes over the other man’s form. Porco had made no special show of removing his shirt, but it excited Reiner all the same. After easily tugging the white fabric over his head, Porco’s hair was as messy as Reiner had ever seen it.

Reiner reached for Galliard then, easing himself back up into a seated position to grip at his quivering body. His hands grazed over Porco’s hips before firmly gripping them and pulling the smaller man closer. His mouth found Porco’s right pec, while his hand firmly squeezed and massaged the other. His fingers pinched and tugged at Porco’s left nipple as his tongue traced the shape of the right one, resulting in a shuddering breath escaping the Jaw Titan’s lips. Porco’s hands raked through Reiner’s hair, mussing it up and smoothing it back from the other man’s face as he arched his back to press himself harder against his larger frame. He was intent on being swallowed whole by the Armored Titan’s fervor and lust - if only for one night. 

Porco’s tousled hair fell over his forehead and into his eyes as he tilted his head down to softly press his lips against Reiner’s again. The gentleness of the gesture took Reiner by surprise yet again, and only then did the Jaw Titan show his true intention. Reiner was caught off guard, all the same, then Porco roughly shoved his hands into the larger man’s chest, forcing him back down onto his back and into the thin mattress, “You’re so goddamned predictable.”

Reiner could only watch as Porco’s tongue swept across his lips, tucking in at the corner of his mouth as he rose from the bed. A mischievous smirk crossed the Jaw Titan’s face then as he gazed down at the blushing, panting Armored Titan, “Pants off, Braun. They aren’t doing much for you anyway.”

Obedient as any well-trained soldier, Reiner timidly began slipping his thin pajama pants down the slopes of his hips. His chest quickly rose up and down with each labored breath, hints of his own toned body peeking between his half-unbuttoned nightshirt - he could feel Porco’s eyes as they traced his form, and it sent a hot blush through his face and neck, “Yes, sir.” The resulting tsk from Porco deepened his blush. 

Galliard began working his own belt free, but soon became distracted himself at the sight of Reiner’s erection bobbing up once it was released from his pants. That same blush that came over Braun’s shoulders, reached the head of his cock too. Reiner said nothing as he watched as the other man knelt between his legs on the bed, his belt left hanging half-undone and forgotten from his pant’s belt loops. Porco wasted no time lowering himself to meet Reiner’s twitching cock, firmly wrapping his hand around the base of it as his mouth traced the side of the shaft.

As if it was second nature to him, Porco slid his lips over the sensitive head and eased himself down onto the Armored Titan’s cock. He let out a low groan, matching Reiner’s own, as it descended deeper into the depths of his throat and mouth. Reiner’s hips rose automatically on their own as a pleasured hiss escaped between clenched teeth. He muffled another heavy moan with the back of his hand, and a light sheen of sweat appeared on his blushing pale skin.

As he took Reiner’s length deeper into his mouth, Porco’s eyebrows knitted together in tense concentration. He could feel the tip hitting the back of his throat, and the sensation alone urged him to press further, to take even more and push himself past his limits. Despite muffling all moans of pleasure unbecoming of a warrior behind a clenched fist, the sensation of Porco’s throat closing around his cock as the other man swallowed him down caused a sharp euphoric cry to erupt from Braun. 

Reiner’s fingers became tangled in Porco’s hair as he gripped the smaller man’s head with both of his large, rough hands. He guided the other man’s head up and down the length of his ever-throbbing cock, shaking and quivering from the intense heat shared between them. Porco’s head began to swim as he became lost in this bliss, lost in the ache at the back of his throat, and the soreness in his jaw and at the corners of his mouth. Reiner was stretching him out in more delicious ways than one, and it was easy to become drunk on the idea of swallowing down such a monstrous dick alone. 

Porco began easing himself from Reiner, saliva and pre-cum dripping in thick streams from his lips and down the length of his cock. He let out a heavy pant as his non-dominant hand began working the shaft in a sloppy, almost lazy manner, “Can’t have you blowing your load so soon, can we, Braun?” He lowered his eyelids as he gazed up into the face of the Armored Titan, smirking as the other man struggled to reply.

Completely overwhelmed from the intensity of it all, Reiner hid his face beneath his hands and let out a muffled groan, “No, I-I suppose n-not..!” His hips rose in shaky thrusts to match the pace of Porco’s hand. The heat from the palm of Porco’s palm sent wave after shuddering wave through him, causing his hips to buck near-frantically, all while pre-cum dripped from the head and onto the other man’s fingers. Reiner was going to lose it whether Porco allowed him to or not. Yet, the Jaw Titan was purposefully edging him, never allowing him to slip over that edge. Not yet.

Porco slid the middle finger on his dominant hand into his mouth, meeting Reiner’s fevered gaze with his own eyelids lowered into that signature look of… was it akin to boredom? Regardless, it shook Reiner all the same. Saliva hung in a thick strand from the tip of Galliard’s finger to his bottom lip as he pulled it away, never once breaking eye contact with the other man.

Abandoning Braun’s erection to bob helplessly against his lower stomach, Porco eased himself back into a seated position between his thighs. He pressed the palm of his hand against the underside of Reiner’s knee to bend it to the side and out of the way as he spread his legs wider. He pressed his fingers to his lips as a bright blush blossomed on his cheeks - seeing the Armored Titan like this… naked, vulnerable, blushing, throbbing, and aching for him was enough to stop him in his tracks.

Reiner’s groan of frustration snapped Galliard back into the present moment. Another tsk came from him as he pushed his finger back into his mouth, wetting his middle finger again, “We’re just getting started, Braun. I dunno why you’re so eager to finish—” His words came in a hoarse growl, but swiftly cut off by the other man’s heated whine, “Then hurry up, Porco! I can’t… fucking take it, having you stare at me and not doing anything else!”

A snarl erupted from Porco as he pushed his hand harder against Braun’s leg, pushing it farther down so that his thigh came to rest on the bed. Without further hesitation, he began pressing his dripping wet middle finger against Braun’s asshole. He could only grin, the tip of his tongue poking at the side of his mouth, as he listened to the Armored Titan’s low, rumbly groan.

Galliard’s nails bit into the skin underneath Reiner’s thigh, and it was all he could do to stay still and relax enough to take the Jaw Titan’s thick finger deeper. He bit into his own fist, muffling back yet another groan as Porco slid his finger up to the first knuckle inside him. The pressure and intense heat of being so slightly urged open was foreign, but not unwelcome to the Armored Titan. His body began to relax into Galliard’s movement, and light, breathy pants left him as the other man worked his finger deeper into him - he was easily taking the entire length of it now, and could truly savor the sensation.

Before long, Galliard was able to press his index finger into Reiner as well, and the resulting moans for more urged him to finger Braun harder and faster. He licked at the side of his mouth again, a grin plastered on his face as he loomed over the shuddering, groaning man, “Think you’re almost ready for me, Braun?” Strands of hair strayed across Porco’s forehead as he tilted his head to the side, looking quite the blushing mess himself.

Reiner snapped to attention at the sound of the other man’s voice, drool trailing down his chin as he lifted his head to gaze up at Galliard. His voice hitched as the Jaw titan squeezed a third finger into him, his legs beginning to shake as the other man stretched him wider. He reached for Galliard’s wrist, sweat dripping from his brow as he pulled the other man’s hand harder to him. He held Porco’s wrist in place so that his fingers paused deep inside of Reiner so that he could savor in the feeling of being stretched and stuffed, “Ah, hah, yes! Ready as I’ll ever be-!”

The hitch in Braun’s voice made Galliard just as weak as he slowly pulled his fingers from the other man. He gave Braun a firm smack on his inner thigh with the flat of his hand as he sat up, half resting one knee on the bed while his other foot scuffed the floor, “On your knees then.”

That jolt from the smack on his thigh urged Reiner to sit up quickly in bed, the long-forgotten blankets and sheets becoming a tangle at his feet. His nightshirt was drenched in sweat, and his cock helplessly bobbed between his legs as he worked to untangle himself from his bedding. Sweat dripped from his scalp down the side of his face as he finally freed himself, and his gaze lingered on Galliard as he began to timidly kneel on the edge of the bed. 

The Jaw Titan had returned to working his belt off, and it fell to the floor with a soft thud. Galliard swiftly undid his fly, and dipped his thumbs into the waistband of his pants and underwear, taking no time pushing it all down his thighs to rest below his butt. He quirked an eyebrow at Braun, smirking to himself as he caught the other man staring. 

Reiner tensed as he watched Galliard undress, his own cock twitching with anticipation as Porco knelt behind him. His eyes traced Porco’s body and movement as the other spat into his hand and began working the length of his erection with the thick saliva. Could he really take the Jaw Titan like this? Reiner shook his head, as if to shake away any doubt, and widened his kneeling stance on the bed. 

He gasped as Galliard firmly gripped his hip with one hand, while his other hand guided his now-glistening cock to press firmly against Reiner’s ass. Galliard bit back a low groan as he pressed the head into Braun, the tightness of the other man causing his hands to shake. Reiner hung his head low to rest his forehead against the bed, his own moans muffled as he released them into the mattress.

Galliard pushed back any and all hesitation as he roughly gripped Braun by his hips. He tugged the Armored Titan back onto his dick, sharp hisses escaping clenched teeth as the other man took him deeper and deeper. Reiner’s body tensed and relaxed around him, and he seemed to go rigid each time he pulled back and slipped almost all the way out - only to push farther than the thrust before.

“Ohh fuh-fuck, Galliard!” Reiner bit into his fist again as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. The intense heat spreading from his stomach all through his lower body was driving him insane. He was being penetrated and stretched farther than he’d ever been before, and it was almost as if Galliard enjoyed overwhelming him and pushing him past his limits more quickly than he was comfortable. He endured all the same, and began reaching a hand back for the other man, desperately wanting to grip onto a part of him as he was fucked into the squeaky bed.

Porco’s chest had begun to heave as he roughly pulled Braun into each thrust, baring his teeth as each groan left him. He dug his nails deep into Reiner’s hips, clawing him as his thrusts grew quicker. Before long, his hips began smacking firmly against Reiner’s ass cheeks, and the long, deep moans rising from the other man caused his own breath to hitch and shudder. Like his fingers before, Galliard pressed his hips firmly against Reiner, and held his cock deep inside him, “Feel that, Braun?” He tilted his head to the side, grinning down at the Armored Titan as the other man gazed up at him from his place on the bed.

Reiner’s fingers, still seeking purchase, finally grazed the edges of Galliard’s pants that sat low on his thighs. His fingers twisted into the fabric, tugging on them to urge Porco to move. Being stuffed so deeply with the entirety of his cock was overwhelming and overstimulating him in such an exquisite way. Reiner let out a frustrated growl when Galliard did not continue fucking him, despite his begging, “Porco! Just.. fuck me!”

Porco only let out a breathy laugh, the muscles in his arms tensing and flexing as he kept a firm grip on Braun’s hips. Hearing such words from Reiner, of all people, excited him beyond measure, and that same fiery heat that got them to this moment roared awake within him yet again. His hips and lower stomach began to ache as he resumed fucking the other man - Reiner’s breathy moans soon filled the air, and he urged Porco on and on with his fingers still curled around the fabric of his pants.

Reiner’s body melted beneath Porco as a flush came over his entire body. The other man’s thrusts were relentless and forceful, making him rock back and forth on the bed while he buried his face deeper into the pillows. The bruising grip Galliard had on his hips kept him grounded in the moment, and the ever aching burn in his guts had him drooling and begging for more.

Sweat dripped from Galliard’s brow down onto Reiner’s back. Porco was completely consumed by him, from how tight he was on his cock, to his labored breathing and even the smell of him. The light scent of bergamot and sea salt would always remind Porco of this moment, of fucking the Armored Titan into a near-screaming, shaking mess. His stomach muscles tensed as he eased closer to the edge - Braun’s cries of pleasure were forcibly pushing him to the precipice. He was close - very, very close.

Suddenly, Reiner’s hands pulled away from Galliard’s pants, and he pushed himself up from the mattress and pillows in a flash. He’d settled more onto his hands and knees on the bed, and bucked himself hard against the other man, nearly knocking Porco back in a desperate push for release. 

“Ahh, Po-Porco! I’m—“ His words died in the air as Galliard slipped an arm over his shoulder, and across his chest. The Jaw Titan pressed harder into Reiner, forcing the larger man’s back to arch inward as he kept a firm grip on his shoulder and pec. Reiner’s body shook from the tension, and he continued to weakly bounce himself off Porco’s lap, whimpering and crying out in pleasure all the same.

A groan exploded from Porco as he squeezed Reiner tighter, his head hanging down to rest against the Armored Titan’s shoulder blade. His nails bit into the blushing, pink skin on Reiner’s chest, and he left red, angry welts in their wake as an intense orgasm came over him.

Reiner’s own euphoric moans soon overtook Porco’s groans and heavy breathing as he too fell over the edge with him.  
  
  
———  
  


Hours stumbled by until the sun slowly began its lazy ascent in the sky. They’d had an unspoken agreement about their nights together, and this night, or any night like it in the future, would never be spoken of again. 

Reiner no longer endured harsh beatings or verbal abuse from the other man, and instead, they spent many of their nights in this very same way. It was special, even if it was the Warrior Unit’s best-kept secret. Those nights were only one of a few constants within Reiner’s life that he truly cherished, and it was easy to believe that this could be their life forever. 

It was easy to daydream about a comfortable, long life within Liberio, where he and the other Warriors no longer had to suffer for their country or their ancestor’s sins. 

It was too easy to believe in the dream of being loved by someone so strong and determined as Porco was. Reiner had been a weak, miserable person for so long, yet it was just as easy to believe that he could gain strength to live and to be happy from Porco’s love alone. 


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

_Reiner  
  
_

It had been nearly 4 years since his homecoming. The military’s plans to continue the attack on Paradis were halted, due to endless heat from Marley’s enemies on all borders. The Warrior unit’s main focus was no longer on reclaiming the Founding, Colossal, and Female titans, but instead on demolishing any nation that stood against their homeland. Regular training came by way of endless war games in the field. Many Eldians died assisting Marley’s Warriors as they took down any enemy country that stood against them, but the Marleyan government painted the tragedies in a more admirable light.

Upon his return to Marley back then, Reiner suffered many months of crippling guilt and shame. Yet, as he returned into the fold of the internment zone he called home, he was able to find some semblance of peace within this different set of walls. His mother, and small cousin Gabi, brought a bright light back into his life that had not been there for many years. His comrades in the Warrior unit and the young trainees sparked inspiration anew within him each and every day.

It was like being reborn. The Reiner of Paradis seemed to simply slip away with each passing day. That night, when Galliard had pulled him from his bed, beat him bloody, and then cried with him, awoke something in Reiner. It was something akin to determination - if not a mere shadow of it. He was still a broken man, haunted by the ghosts of his fallen comrades and the people he loved. But, something about being home, and Galliard’s disgust with him gave him the resolve to continue living. 

To continue fighting.

  
———  
  
  


After Eren Yeager’s attack on Marley and the subsequent loss of the Beast Titan, it was clear that the Marleyans and Warriors had to act quickly to gain the upper hand against the island devils. The initial plan had put the Warriors on that island within 6 months of the attack on Liberio, but Reiner had urged Commander Magath and the Marleyan brass to get them there sooner, rather than later. 

Within a month’s time, the Warrior Unit would be airdropped onto the island of Paradis to engage the Attack Titan and whatever else may be awaiting them there. Their goal would be to stop Yeager from starting the Rumbling, and to take the island as spoils of war for their home country - the natural resources on Paradis could not be lost in this war, or any wars to come. 

He did not know that within hours of landing on Paradis as the Armored Titan with the Jaw and Cart Titans in tow, that he would lose yet another important person in his life. 

Had he known Porco would die on that despicable island, would he have pushed the unit to attack so soon? Could he have ever imagined that Porco would sacrifice himself to save him, and give him a third, no, fourth chance at life? 

This damnable war had taken everything from him. 

Marcel died for him. 

Ymir died for him. 

And now, Porco had died for him too.

Those wielding the Jaws would always die for a weak person. A cruel fate, indeed.

Reiner Braun could no longer waste the time he’d borrowed from those who had fallen for him. Despite a broken heart and beaten spirit, he had to continue. He had to fight for those left in his wake - the blood on his hands from his fallen comrades, friends, and lovers, would never wash away. 

It was his cross to bear, and he’d shoulder that burden to the ends of the earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really fitting that while I was finishing this, and writing the sad epilogue specifically, that Eve's 'Leo' came on. Sigh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3K3V36mlLM&ab_channel=Eve
> 
> Thank you for reading! ;_;


End file.
